


Heal

by DestielAutomaticShip



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 21:49:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17394317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielAutomaticShip/pseuds/DestielAutomaticShip
Summary: Castiel is in love the only problem is he's in love with some douche that doesn't deserve him and Dean is Castiels best friend instead of the 'love of his life





	Heal

Castiel walks through the automatic doors, the airport breathing with life behind him as he steps into the cold night and engulfs the crisp air, longing for the feeling of a cool breeze after a two-hour flight. After spending the last few months in Minnesota for college, Castiel can't help the rush of nostalgia that inhabits him at the first glimpse of his hometown after so long away from it. Kansas really is beautiful. Castiel grabs his phone, clicking it to life and instantly smiling. Technically he wasn't meant to be home for a couple of weeks but he hadn't been able to stand the distance between him and his family, his friends but mostly he's missed, Danny. They've been together for two years so far, happily together and can't help the smile that traces his lips as he looks down at the picture of them both surrounded by their friends. It's always been his favourite picture because it reminded him of one of the best days of his life: him, Danny, Gabriel, Dean, Sam and Charlie all eating cheap takeout around a makeshift table in Charlie's new flat as they all share stories about each other, some embarrassing, and in Sam and Dean's case- some  _very_  embarrassing. Castiel chuckles at the thought and flicks through his contacts pressing down on Danny's name.

The phone rings, vibrating in Castiel's hand but no one answers, he rings again but the same thing happens, it repeats the dull ringtone and beeps quietly before stopping abruptly. Castiel hangs up deciding that he doesn't need to record a message and hoping that Danny will enjoy the surprise as he hangs up with a shrug. Castiel quickly shuffles up to one of the taxis that are lined up along the kerb and climbs in, rubbing his hands together and tugging his scarf tighter around his neck. He gives his address to the driver, a man with a gruff haircut and dirty beard before they drive off to the sound of new-age pop music playing in the background.

_'Im hurting baby, I'm broken down. I need your loving, loving I need it now. When I'm without yah I'm something weak. You got me begging, begging I'm on my knees.'_

The taxi stops outside Castiel's apartment building and he's in an even better mood than before. He happily hands his money to the driver, exiting the taxi with a smile on his face. "Thank you." He says shutting the door behind himself and walking into the building, nodding his head to the tune playing inside his head and humming along to it. 

_'I don't wanna be needing your love, I just wanna be deep in your love. And it's killing me when you're away, ooh, baby.'_

He jumps into the elevator and plugs in his headphones playing the song he's got stuck in his head and begins tapping his foot along to it. Castiel grins to himself as he dances around the empty elevator and laughs to himself unable to come down from the current high he's in. He makes the effort at fluid movements but ends up with not so graceful spins and a very unattractive amount of jumping.

_'Your sugar. Yes, please. Won't you come and put it down on me? I'm right here, cause I need Little love, a little sympathy.'_

The doors open and he stops messing around in time to see a couple watching him. He laughs awkwardly nodding in their direction and flashing a smile towards them as he circles around them and exits the elevator. He sings along to his headphones as he reaches his apartment door, trying to be quiet and not ruin the surprise.

Castiel checks the time on his phone and pulls out his headphones. It's only just turned 9:30 so Danny's probably in bed. Castiel fishes through his bag grabbing the door keys and shoving them in the lock. They turn inaudibly in the keyhole and he tiptoes inside pulling the door gently shut behind him. A hushed click echoes and he cringes at the sound but hear no sign of movement so continues to sneak towards the bedroom door.

His pace slows when he suddenly hears voices coming from inside the room and startles as they get louder and louder the closer he gets to the door but they're not voices anymore, his smile falters as moans quickly pile up against the walls echoing and vibrating around him.

Castiel clenches his fists and charges towards the door pushing it open hard enough for it to dent the wall behind it. He shouts in disgust when his eyes are met with Danny and his assistant lying on top of each other, the scene in front of him undeniable and clear as day. "You- cheat!" He shouts, throwing the nearest thing he can grab at the two. Both Danny and his assistant immediately stop both turning to face him with an expression similar to a deer caught in the headlights, as the notepad Castiel had flung at them slowly drops to the floor. Castiel snarls at them both, not being able to think of words good enough to describe his hurt. He storms from the room grabbing his bag and marches into the bathroom, slamming the door and taking anything that's his and putting it into his bag.

Danny gently pushes the door open, a pathetic attempt at sympathy on his face as he looks up at Castiel. "Baby listen," He steps forwards, the action casual and careless as he grabs Castiel's shoulders and turns him so that they're face to face.  "Don't touch me!" Castiel shouts, hitting the hands off of his shoulders. The simple gesture that used to represent something kind, caring and full of love was now nothing more than a distasteful movement. The action was now translucent to what it really meant- it was just Danny's way of making Castiel think he cared for him, of controlling him.

Hands grab at his own as Danny tries to take the bag from Castiel. "I'm sorry," Danny whispers, letting go of his grip on the other man and looking down at the floor with slumped shoulders. Castiel wipes carelessly at his eyes as he looks at the man in front of him. "Twice, this has happened. Twice." Castiel thinks back over all the times he and Danny have been together- he knows Danny's parents' names, where he works, his old address... he knows  _work_  things. The thought stays with Castiel as he scans the man in front of him, he knows nothing that the everyday person wouldn't know, he doesn't know Danny's favourite colour, how he likes his coffee, his favourite food, music, places. He doesn't even know Danny's hometown.  His vision is blurred by tears by the time he looks away.

Danny finally must find the nerve to look Castiel in the eye because he takes a step closer, rubbing Castiel's arm. "I know, I know." Danny reluctantly mumbles. He sighs, his eyes rolling with the movement. "You-you were just gone for so long." He says putting his hand on Castiel's cheek a smile tracing his lips like Castiel is nothing more than an insolent child.

Castiel stares at him for a while, shocked into silence before he hits the hand off of his cheek, hoping the slap was hard enough to leave a mark. "What?" He shouts. "How dare you!" Castiel forcefully pushes Danny back so that he hits against the wall swiftly grabbing his bag in the process and stomping out of the bathroom. He passes the assistant as she stands in the lounge with her top awkwardly draped around her, holding a very guilty look on her face. Castiel continues his rampage into the bedroom, taking most of his clothes out of the wardrobe while Danny shouts behind him. "Baby please, look I'm sorry. It won't happen again." The apologies are nothing more than white noise to Castiel's ears and he growls at the sound, ignoring Danny and pushing him back whenever he comes within arms reach.

"I am not forgiving you this time, it's over!" Castiel shouts, throwing his bag over his shoulder. "I knew I should have listened to Dean." He mumbles angrily and strides to the door, ignoring Danny trying to step in front of him. "For God's sake, Castiel will you just listen to me!" Danny shouts, kicking the coffee table beside him.

Castiel opens the door, stuffing his keys into his pocket and glaring at the assistant before stepping through it and slamming the door behind him. He wipes away the tears that have spilt down his cheek and rubs at the ones welling in his eyes. Castiel shuffles down the hallway, torn between dropping to the floor and running as far away as possible. He frantically presses the button for the elevator and steps inside as it slowly opens. Castiel leans his back against the wall, hugging himself as he slowly slides down the wall and onto the floor.

The buttons light up and he watches as the doors close, showing him a glimpse of Danny as he stands outside their apartment door, looking down each end of the hallway. The sight of him makes Castiel stomach flip and he holds himself tighter willing the bile to go back down his throat.

The elevator hits the ground floor and Castiel stands up, grabbing his bag then trudging out of the building, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He slumps against the wall outside of the building looking for a place he could momentarily hide until he figures out what to do. The park is dimly lit up across the street so he drags himself towards it, the image of his cheating boyfriend, running through his head as a reminder to why his stomach feels so empty yet his heart feels as if it's going to combust. A bench resting underneath a lamppost and a tree leaning brokenly is the first thing he notices so he willingly sits on the bench chucking his bag next to him as a wave of fatigue washes over him.

Castiel's body freezes as it touches the bench, the wind is cold on its own along with the damp ground and the feel of a frozen bench does little to warm him up.  _He doesn't know what to do._ Thelast time Danny cheated on Castiel, Castiel had forgiven him straight away, in all honesty, he hadn't exactly understood what Danny had really done and by the time Charlie had explained to him that it wasn't what 'couples' did, it had been too late to do anything about it so Castiel had moved past it; but he refuses to forgive Danny this time, he had promised his friends that he wouldn't. Castiel brings his legs up to his chest and hugs himself, closing his eyes momentarily and trying to warm himself up as he thinks of what he's going to do next.

 **Find a hotel to stay in?**                           _There isn't one around for miles._

 **Stay here all night?**                                                    _He'll probably get mugged._

 **Call someone?**                                                                     _Who does he have to call?_

Eventually, Castiel frustrates himself as he's unable to think of a plan and opens his eyes to look around the decorated park. He admires his surroundings particularly the trees and how they stand out from everything else with their vibrant greens and dashes of brown and orange. He glances around at the yellow coloured fair light hung prettily above him. Castiel smiles to himself, the sight making himself feel warm and comfortable for the first time tonight. He picks up his phone, scowling at the screen saver and holding back the tears that are welling in his eyes as he checks the time.  _11:45pm._ Castiel unlocks his phone, scrolling down through the contacts and deleting Danny's number- he doesn't want the temptation- before turning the screen off. 

He slowly lets out a short breath of air feeling a smile trace his lips at the accomplishment but the smile turns into a grimace as a gust of cold wind brushes past him and he wraps his arms tighter around himself. It quickly becomes clear that he needs to find someone to call or he'll be sleeping on this bench for the night.

The thought of sleeping on a random bench in a park makes his hands twitch anxiously and he looks around himself slightly too paranoid. Castiel jumps when his phone buzzes in his hand and he scrambles to catch it before it vibrates off of the bench. He unlocks his phone and reads the text.

_**'Dean - Hey Cas hope you got home safe and make sure you plan to come visit me or I will have to come to your apartment and kidnap you. Text me in the morning.'** _

He laughs suddenly and almost rolls his eyes at the tear that spills down his cheek. Obviously Deans awake, Castiel knows for a fact that Deans insomnia keeps him awake until the early hours of the morning but still hesitates over pressing down on that little green button and calling him.  _Would he be angry because it's late? Or what if he and Lisa got back together?_

_No...Dean would probably kill him if he didn't call him and stayed on this park bench all night, he knows that from experience. As much as Castiel hates to admit it this isn't the first time he's been stranded on a park bench._

Castiel bites his lip pondering over his own thoughts and before he can stop himself he presses down on Deans name. The phone rings once before being answered and the dull dial tone is replaced by Deans groggy voice. "Hey Cas, you answered! I thought I was gonna have to wait till next week to see you since you're always so busy! How are you is everything alright?" Castiel feels himself smile even as tears fall down his cheek. "Cas?" Dean questions. It's the utter joy in Deans voice that makes Castiel finally falter and his voice is so shaky when he speaks that he's surprised Dean can even understand him. 

"D-dean," Castiel tries his best to hold in his tears, the sad smile accompanying his lips proof of that but he fails miserably. "Can you come p-pick me up?" And eventually, the tears refuse to stop pouring out. "Cas, what's happened?" Castiel hears rustling through the phone and the familiar sound of the Impala's keys as Dean speaks but he can't find his voice. "I-" The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face and he feels the muscles of his chin tremble like that of a small child.

_Why can't he speak?_

"Okay, don't worry Cas just tell me where you are," Dean asks hurriedly. Castiel looks at the lamppost hanging over his head as if the light could soothe him. He smiles sadly and wipes his face with the back of his hand. "I-i'm outside my apartment, in the park." He doesn't know why but he laughs, it's sad and pathetic but it's there  _maybe it's because he's been here so many times before, it may be the second time he's cheated by it's not their second argument. In all honesty, Castiel's lost count of how many arguments they've had._

"Okay, okay just wait there I'm coming now," Dean replies. "Okay," Castiel replies barely above a whisper. He thinks about saying more but it's as if his mind goes blank, he doesn't want to talk he just wants someone beside him, he wants his best friend beside him.  "I'll just wait here then." He mumbles and ends the call. 

Castiel hates being able to hear the sounds of himself crying much less having to force someone else to listen to him, he always sounds like a distressed child it's...annoying. He sighs and rests his head on top of his knees. There's static in his head once more but he's too tired to focus on it, Castiel didn't want this to happen.

**...**


End file.
